The Beauty of Beautiful Books About Beauty (Interlude)

I know I am running late for my latest blog post. Even more than running late. However, my little hibernation does not mean that I am already out of ideas. It is more like the opposite. The problem is though I have sometimes just no time to write anything in here - and even if I have a little time, I feel too exhausted most of the evenings. Tonight is no exception to that. The only difference is that I feel I need to write this right now. 

Do you know those days where everything goes wrong? You fuck up with everyone, you drop literally everything, every piece of crap falls out of your hands. I swear, it made me so mad that I had to start screaming - which, I never really do but there is this thin red line that once it is crossed there is no turning back. You feel fed up and you want to quit. This was my day today... and I feel I have to write about something that is keeping me pensive for a few months by now. 

Anyways, back to the story. I have so many ideas for my blog that sometimes it is hard to choose for me, which idea should come first and which one can be postponed for a later entry. I feel like every entry is like a stamp that gives you a certain look or simply changes your appearance as the reader gets a certain impression of you - or changes it entirely (maybe that goes with how many similarities there are between the writer and the reader). 

Agreed, I do not really have a position in this blog world. I am more or less anonymous; I have no readers as I am just offering food for the mind, not in pictures or recipes. The question if I will ever gain any new readers is simply not for me to answer. However, here is my topic of the day, the issue that everyone around me seems to constantly be talking, worrying or bragging about. Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one being confronted with this topic that it has started to daunt me in various ways. I am talking about BEAUTY (all in caps, it cannot be presented without the big deal, at least when it comes to letters!) and the effects that it has not only on the individual but also on the whole planet seemingly. 

Being the woman I am, I usually get up in the morning, and spend what might be considered (to a rational person) as a total time waste. All those questions about what I might wear today, the time I spend with make up and hair do... even I think that it is useless, senseless, to put so much effort into my outer appearance. And, mind you, I am not even doing much! Other women put way more effort into their looks. This is usually where problems start: first of, I am half of the time thinking as to why exactly I am doing all this and secondly, the competition has begun to take everything a bit further, higher, better. Wait a second: better? Really? Looking at past decades, I am really asking the question: have we become, in all we learned all that we are trying right now, really something better, more desirable or valuable? 

As world population keeps growing (moreover exploding), we need to find ways to categorize people in order to make personal choices easier. Choose the perfect candidate for the job vacancy, choose a friend, choose a lover (for one night, for multiple nights, does not matter!) or, if everything goes well, choose a life partner. AS we do not have all the time in the world (although our life expectancy grows century by century), we need ways to find all those matches quickly, if possible before we retire. Give me love, happiness and friendship - fast! Give me competence, the right qualification and everything else - by yesterday, because today will be too late. 

All this sums up to the ultimate truth: we choose mainly by looks. We simply do not have the time to get to know every single person on this planet, so we choose by looks. Simple, short, and absolutely superficial!

Beauty - we all want it and we all love to look at it. We admire everything beautiful... and I am no exception, do not be fooled! Since I am an artist, beauty plays a major part in my life, front to center to back. However, beauty to me goes way deeper than the physical aspects of it. 

Of course I also enjoy the so called "eye candy" at the end of the day, though the beauty of the mind is a lot more important to me, as it is (in my opinion!) the beauty that comes close to immortality. A beautiful thought produced by a creative and bright mind can last forever - a beautiful face stays that way for ... let us say shorter period of time if you do not include any plastic surgery. Never mind, a beautiful though does not need plastic surgery, the though wins anyways. 

I find it strange, that we always want to be like "someone" or "something" that we admire. We define ourselves through various categories that we mix and match to become something like "individuals". The fact that we already are is often times being pushed aside in order to select "the best", the most appropriate match to one self. 

Individuality is first defined through that outer shell we represent: the color of our skin, our hair, our eyes, then our height, weight (oh, never forget about that weight!), and probably the size of our feet and hands because, after all, you need to categorize yourself in some way, or to be categorized. Visual individuality becomes pretty soon a pain in the neck, especially if all the categorized that you represent are not "en vogue". Automatically, your looks become "not good enough" once they are not "the thing" according to the latest fashion. Strange enough, a chubby woman is, in times of poverty, considered as the most beautiful thing in the world. Nowadays, as we all have money and enough food to eat, you need to look as if you are starving as a woman to be desirable. Call it the other way around: if you have 1 inch too much around your waistline, you get the stamp of being the undisciplined, the unhealthy and the unattractive. 

Well, we did not get here from one day to another. However, it happened. It is neither a bad twist of events nor is it a good one. It simply proves that we have not learned one single bit in the past 1000 years or more. With all the knowledge gained, the privilege for the majority of us to be able to read and write, we come down to the same idiots as before. Our biggest challenge nowadays seems to be to fit into a box, the prettiest box on the market. Instead of embracing our individuality, we punish ourselves if we do not look like some people dictate us to. Punish yourself, punish others - it is a chain reaction of the vain and the rejected. 

One questions though: what is wrong with every single person being an individual? Do I really need to fit a jeans size 0 to be compatible? What exactly am I competing in anyways? Is there a prize to win? I prefer to be notified in case I should ever win... or at least: tell me what I am fighting for and then I will decide if I want to be in this competition or not. 

My mother raised me to be a proud woman despite all the bullying and pain given to me by people that are not even half way close to my heart. So why are we that way? I am certainly not the only one wanting to be liked by everyone or at least a good number of people. What makes us like that though? Is not one friend enough? Maybe even just a half? Agreed, you cannot measure a half friend, my point is though, why do we measure our own worth this way? Is the quantity of friends really more important than the quality? 

Never mind, I already see that this topic is a longer one and needs more than just an "interlude". My point for today is this: which law states that you need to be slim as a woman, well toned, lean, whatever you want to call it? Give me one official document that obeys me to be that way and I will start a diet right away! I am talking about a law though, not a recommendation by the health ministers that changes weekly. Truth is, a law like that exists nowhere except for our own heads. Yes, we totally made that up. By now, it is so deeply stuck in our heads that we consider this to be the ultimate truth. However, what is truth anyways? Is it neutral? Do we really need to stick to certain beliefs to know that we are right? Or is a belief simply what it is - something we WANT to consider true...

Same goes for our thinking when it comes to beauty. Of course, beauty is as individual as the individual itself. The saying is not out there for nothing: beauty lies within the eye of the beholder. What one person finds beautiful, the other might find ugly and vice versa. Even the consideration of beauty is not always mutual - even worse: it hardly ever is! This is why it is so hard to find a partner. Do not fool yourself: even in times of the Internet and the super profound conversations and philosophy, we are superficial like almost no other time has been. 90% of the people feel attracted by beauty - which is not surprising. Even I tick that way. After all, what is a man good for when his heart is good and clean but you cannot look at him without disgust? 

Well, maybe this is exactly the point: what is disgust and why are a clean heart and a good spirit not worth more to us than good looks? The pressure to look good has started to become a nightmare to me because I sometimes feel I cannot win. Then I look in the mirror and wonder why I make my days so horrible just because other people tell me what is being considered beautiful. Do not misunderstand this whole blog thing: I am a really attractive woman. I am not someone hiding on the Internet writing stuff and looking like a worn out shoe. I am a healthy, good-looking woman with a pound or two more than a skinny bitch that give me curves. If Jennifer Lopez or Beyonce have those curves, they are beautiful - if I have those curves, I urgently need to lose some weight. For real? 

I prefer a clean spirit and a healthy body, not skin and bones and a nasty mind that is only out on rating down others in order to stand out as the best. This whole competition thing has gone totally wrong; we have come to a point where we cannot live with each other without trying to ruin one another. It gives me the creeps to see and experience day in and out what we are doing to each other. Beauty is subjective - however, preferences can change with time and we all should open our eyes to see people, not just a certain look that we might like one day and unlike the other. In times of social media and trends, thumbs up or down and way too many shades to choose from, we still should take the time to figure out if it is only the superficial we want to be, if all we want to choose only size 0, only blonde, only red haired, only tall, only 5'4'', only with big breasts, small breasts, long legs, more booty... do we really want to just ignore everyone else because of expectations on how a person needs to look? 

The heart and mind of a person is what lasts a lifetime (excluding diseases affecting this heart and mind), but if we ignore this in favor of looks, which are like flowers - they fade. A lifetime is long and choosing the right friends and lovers or partners should not only be about looks. Same goes for role models btw. Do people nowadays really only choose role models by the sizes of their waists? What a sad thought. If I had to choose between Gisele Bundchen or Malala Yousafzai, guess who I would choose? Admittedly, Gisele is not even a bad person beside her good looks and Malala is not unattractive at all. Point is though, having a mind and using it is more important than chasing something like "beauty". 

Finally, just matching my concept of blog post titles as song titles, I am posting my personal "Video of the Post" (instead of "Video of the Week", as we all do not know whether I can write a post every week!). So, this time the song has to be all about beauty - and this one sums it up quite good for me: 

So, that much for this week’s episode of things I had to get "off my chest". As I said, this topic will need some more thoughts - let us just keep those for later. 

Until then - happy week to all readers! - Gene Lewis :-)

Breakfast on the Titanic - Rise to Fall (Track 1)

July 16, 2014 - Yes, we made it! The champions of the world, oh, how proud Freddy Mercury would be of us. Pride is everywhere I am and walk these days, no matter where I turn or who I talk to, it is all about the victory of the German team at the Soccer World Cup. 

The heroes have returned home by now and even participated in a light scandal with their "Gaucho Dance" where they made fun of the Argentinians. Oh well, of course we are the Nazis again, we must be, when we make a little fun of another country. Anyways, as much as I should be, I am still not that impressed or riding on that wave of euphoria. Congrats to the boys, but really: why am I concerned? I did not even run 100 meters during any of the games, so why exactly is this MY victory? For that sole reason that we share the same nationality (and even that is not true when you look at the nationalities in the German team!). Anyways, I apologize, but I am not buying it. 

Allright, I admit, I can be happy for the team up to some extend. After all, I am not the Grinch who stole Christmas. However, the world does not stop turning because of festive sport events. It does not even stop on festive holidays. 

Happiness usually pairs with a certain "above the clouds"-feeling - you are floating high above the ground, space and time get this really slow, almost puff pastry like consistency - light and still with a lot of butter (and both feels good, right?). Even better - happiness is sweet and light as cotton candy, probably pairing with this state of neglecting time's natural speed and that everything moves on even though you could rest in this state of happiness for a lifetime. 

Then, there is the other side - that of grief, sadness and depression, the entire darkness of feelings. They appear just as thick as happiness, though in a complete different turn. Instead of flying high, you feel dragged down, heavy and sadly, most of the time it is a lot easier for us to feel in a negative than in a positive way. It always seems that happiness is hard work to achieve and sadness comes to you like an unexpected (and unwanted) guest. 

One thing that definitely controls the majority of our emotions and feelings is money. The difference between possessing all that money you possibly cannot spend in one lifetime and the debt you cannot pay back in a hundred years is huge, like swimming either in thick rich hot chocolate (at body temperature, mind you!) with little marshmallows floating on top, or (let's face it!) a lake of shit. 

Some people might want to argue that happiness or sadness is not only a matter of money and I totally agree with that. However, finding all those other things creation happiness (love, friendship, family) have a lot to do with either having the money - or being left out with an empty wallet. Sometimes, one and the other come and go hand in hand. Nonetheless, that is an entirely different story. 

In Germany, a law around a minimum wage for all professions has been in the making for several years now after debates and debates and rough drafts, finer drafts - you know the deal around complicated laws! The example of "Obamacare" comes to mind... in Germany, the minimum wage was just about as complicated and the actual law has almost the same result: no one is really happy with it. However, this law was one of the core aspects of the coalition contract between the conservative Christian Democrats (CDU and CSU (Christian Social Democrats) and the Social Democrats (SPD). The main goal of this law was to help employees in this country who are forced to receive welfare even though they work in a fulltime job. Chancellor Merkel (or Mother Merkel, as Germans love to sometimes call her sarcastically) said that work needs to pay off. Okay, not her exact words but you get what she said. What she meant though was even more important: work needs to pay off - on both sides! The exact reason why the CDU and CSU were very hesitant agreeing to such a law, moreover, they were against it. Germany only gets its minimum wage law now is because the CDU/CSU did not have another choice! Without the SPD there would not have been a coalition in the Bundestag having the majority of votes. 

It is clear why they did not want such a law: they say it is neither cost effective nor fair and probably they are right thinking that employers might shut down their businesses in Germany and start producing in countries with lower costs as in various countries in Eastern Europe. Sadly, they are not wrong with this prediction. 

Be it as it may, millions of people in Germany are working fulltime and have nothing left in their pockets but emptiness. Not at the end of the month like most of us when we spend too much money but on the very first of the month! They have their fixed costs and after that they have hardly anything left, not even to buy food. This situation is already tough as is when you are single; it is even harder when one has a family and kids. Children who will hardly get a higher qualification than their parents just because they do not have access to education as kids from wealthy families have. They come from the bottom of society - and will hardly ever be able to reach higher ground.

In an article I recently read about poverty in the U.S., it turned out that being poor is not always linked to being black or having a criminal record. Poverty in the United States wears the white face just as many times as it wears the black one, the truth about white poverty is just denied in America as it is an ugly image, an image far far away from the dream everyone has that you can achieve whatever you desire when only you work hard enough. The article talked about Baltimore, however, Germany has the same problem: we think that poverty and recipients of welfare are most of the times from an immigrant background. In reality, these clichés are nowadays part of an illusion trying to maybe calm ourselves as to think we will never be poor... if only we work hard enough. 

The Americans have faith in the idea that on can reach just about anything if he or she works hard enough and is clever. One question remains though: what if everything fails? You work hard year for year and you are certainly clever (be it that you are a first class graduate or you just possess a certain amount of intelligence between your two ears) and still you cannot get a job that suits your skills. Believe it or not, America: this happens! Not only in your country, but around the world. It happens everywhere, because life is not fair or works by certain rules. Now what can this intelligent, ready to earn a fortune man/woman do? Certainly, you can clean toilets just for the sake of earning money and make a "living" (if one can call that). After all, one can hope for the better while doing this job, right? Truth is, most people will stay down in a low paid job once they get to the bottom. It is simply hard to get up once you are down. The Titanic also sank and never saw the light of day again, so... it is somewhat comparable. 

Of course, you can hope... and pray... be positive... or do all in one. Whatever helps you through the day scrubbing toilets or sitting at a cash desk. One thing is certain though: we are not living in times where the right education or skin color pay off and get you the wealth you desire. Everyday I see people not worth the money they earn, and vice versa. Justice is not for the free market economy - or any court for that matter. Evidences are good in court just as the right education is good for your CV. However, you need to convince employers, be the right person, have the right age (at least for women!), be either unattached or attached depending on the job or (as in court) have a hell of a lawyer getting you out no matter how guilty or innocent you are. The difference on the job market is: employers have more and more candidates to choose from. In the end, it is not about having the right education, the employer must like you, your face, your voice, whatever you say. If you cannot do that, you will end up in a low paid job and be the jewel at the bottom of the sea, well hidden and practically invisible to the rest of the world. 

Maybe, just maybe, people might be right about money not being everything when it comes to happiness. Look at the people in the small country of Bhutan: they are called the "happiest country in the world" (and they did not even win the Soccer World Cup, imagine that!). Their system works quite simple: they work 8 hours a day, have free time 8 hours a day and sleep 8 hours a day. Would that be the solution for the West? I guess not, our society is too fast-paced, we are constantly in a rush and whatever we do, we always want too much of everything - not just money. Even when it comes to free time, a social life, being desired by the other sex (or same sex, whatever is preferred!), it seems like we can never get enough. Have one thing, want one more thing on top, the desire for the cherry on top of your ice cream. At the end of the day, this might be the main problem: we want too much and are never satisfied. We search happiness in wealth while it resides more in the state of mind when we let go of everything that is about money. 

Happiness might not be able to feed you and for the poorest amongst us, it is easier said than done to let go of the hunt for money. This advice would be more for the average employee with a good income. What we should do, in my opinion, is start thinking beyond borders and stop excluding those in society who do not represent the wealth and glamour we all desire. People should not be valued by their bank accounts but by their hearts. A true and good spirit can be worth more than a billion bucks. That to the song "Billionaire" by Bruno Mars... seriously, who really wants to have the burden of being a billionaire? 

I might dig a little deeper into this subject, for now, this is everything I wanted to get "off my chest". Cheerio and have a good week all you readers (the two, maybe three!).

From Soccer to War and From War Back to Soccer - an Intro

July 9th, 2014 - Is this a day for the books? Did anything happen that will make us look back in a few years and say: "This is the day, when..."?

Probably not. Nothing for the books but some random news that might be recited at some point, yet again.... but wait! I forgot about soccer! Yes, for us Germans this is the day after the day for the books! A day to remember, because really: beating Brazil in Brazil 7:1 in the World Cup Semi finals is something, eh? (<-- alright, I admit, my time in Canada just came through right there!)

The whole day I hear people constantly and unnervingly often talk about this one game, everybody analyzing back and forth this miracle... for the books, of course!

Now as far as I am concerned, I am interested in soccer but at the same time could not care less about last night's game. It is not that I am not happy for the team (admittedly, I do not like our team, still, I can be happy for them)... however, there is always something that leaves me more thoughtful than others, I guess. Happiness is great, carelessness not so much. Apparently, most people do turn quite careless once they can talk about things that are minor in the big picture. Really, who cares about who wins in the World Cup in times like this?

No apocalyptic talking intended here and I really do understand that positive vibes just lift your spirit and make you feel great. We all love to feel great, we need to feel great and that not just every once in a while - we want luck, happiness and the whole gang constantly, just like we want good weather all year around. It is like the air we breathe and we think, we will die in case we do not get the happy times all the time.

Sometimes though, in all this breathing, we smell something that stinks, something uncomfortable, and believe it or not, we do need this at times. Just imagine a world without any negativity - it sounds great at first, something really admirable. On the other hand, the constantly sunny side of life is just like having more money than you can ever spend: you either crave more (which is senseless!) or you just go bananas with all your wealth. Admittedly, that is more or less the same. My point is: you need the bad and the downside in life to appreciate happiness.

It is possible that this is why I spend more time thinking about serious issues instead of pulling myself up with the World Cup. The death of more than 30 people last night during a fire exchange between Israel and Palestine gives me in all this enthusiasm around me more than just a light feeling of bitterness. There is a certain heaviness on my heart thinking about the events of the past weeks around the ever-burning conflict between these two states, these two worlds, like different planets divided by an ever-growing space called the Gaza Strip. Especially the first event a few weeks ago that caused this situation made me more than just think.

All of a sudden, the news talk about an intifada again. An intifada that could be worse than those in 1987 and 2000. For everyone that is not really aware of the word intifada (and I was not at first!), it is somewhat like a revolution and involves mainly protests and with that more aggressive conflicts with the army. In this case, Palestinian protesters against the Israeli army. Just a few weeks ago, nobody was talking about the conflicts between Palestine and Israel anymore (not that the conflict ever disappeared!); then, something happened, something that could be just like the beginning of an "Oscar"-winning screenplay.

The kidnapping of three Israeli teenage boys strangely caught my attention from the very beginning. The reason for this could be that I had recently watched the Israeli TV show "Hatufim", which is basically the equivalent (or, moreover, the original version!) of the award-winning TV show "Homeland". In my mind, I immediately had this strange hope for the boys, that they will be brought home safe, without the brainwashing and turning into terrorists-twist, of course! Seriously, sometimes I am really naive enough to believe that the world could somewhat be like Hollywood. Or fairy tales. Maybe both. "And they lived happily ever after"...

Eyal Yifrach (19), Naftali Fraenkel (16) and Gilad Shaar (16) did not get the happy Hollywood ending they would have deserved. Nor did their families. The news of their deaths shocked me and left me not understanding why such an act of cruelty is possible. Of course (or even more unfortunately), this is not the first time that teenagers or children are killed in the name and in times of war. However, it drew my attention and it made me sad. Last week then, another teenager was killed - this time, the Palestinian teenager Muhammad Abu Khdeir, was found dead in a forest - beaten brutally and then burned to death.

We have all seen the most brutal things in movies and on TV, still, nothing is more shocking or more heartbreaking than reality. The knowledge that Khdeir was killed to revenge the three Israeli teenagers made me extremely sad. Sometimes you have moments in life when you do not understand the world anymore; to me, this was one of them. A civilized world with endless possibilities to gain knowledge and all we do is use medieval methods to make a point. Yes, that was probably this entire killing was - making a point, taking revenge, showing that one side has more right than the other. Is it not stupid? Is anyone really thinking that way? Apparently, more people than you can imagine think that way. Hard to understand for people living in the "Western World", meaning in a civilized society that is not solely about religion and the thinking that only one religion can exist. Still, there is something like "another world" on this planet, something to distant from our thinking that it makes it hard for us to understand the ways and methods of these people - and, even harder, to help create peace in these regions.

Many heads of state from various countries have miserably failed in bringing peace to the Middle East. It is still hard to believe that one month back, Pope Francis, President Shimmon Peres of Israel and President Mahmoud Abbas were praying together. A symbol of peace and a slight hope that one day those two countries might somewhat live side by side in a state that is something like peace. Again, the fairy tales. We just cannot stop being naive.

Right now, the situation is more real, more serious than in a long time. Radicalism on one side as well as on the other, protests against one another and everything in the name of God, of Allah, of the Almighty. You name it and it gives them just another reason to fight, to hate, to raise the conflict even more. No matter how you look at it: all the West can do is stand there and watch, like spectators at a soccer game. Inappropriate comparison? Maybe. Still, there is always a hint of truth in any comparison.

The question for all readers remains: why am I writing all this? Well, at first it was just something I had to talk about because after weeks and weeks of talking about soccer and completely ignoring everything that is happening on this planet, I feel like I have to speak up. Yes, of course I know I am just a tiny spot in the vastness and the deepest depth of the Internet. Probably this will not be read by anyone and even if, who cares about my opinion? The fact remains though: every opinion is important and, most importantly, having an opinion is important. I wanted to give some room to express my deepest sympathies for the families of those four killed teenagers as well as all relatives losing someone in these times of war. To me, this is not even about the innocence of a soul or judging who deserves to live or to die... what is important right now is that everyone starts to learn from the mistakes of the past. The past keeps growing with more and more information, mistakes and solutions to add to our knowledge. All we have to do is take the opportunity and make something out of all this.

No matter what we do, we should definitely stop ignoring the negativity happening around us. It is not like negativity is going to fade and it is not (like most people claim) that life gets more bearable when we focus on positive aspects and ignore the negative. Like I said earlier, lifting our spirits is a great thing and that not only in the religious sense. However, looking beyond the superficial might be a solution in order to create something like peace. Let us not fool ourselves: world peace is an idea of the Hippies that will probably never really happen. Again, that old fairy-tale thinking. Instead, we should create a feeling like "living satisfied ever after" that accepts the bad and works with it turning it into something close to being good.

That said, I wish everyone who enjoys the soccer World Cup some more great games and a great finale.

Soccer, war and everything in between - something, I had to get "off my chest" this week.